“Hey. Hey bro. Do you know where the ladder is, I—hey! Where are you…?”
“Thank you. Thank you, bro.”
“Can you check me out?”
"Thank you, bro. Just getting
something to eat. I’m bout to go on my break.”
“Hey, you don’t have to clean, I’ll
clean, it’s too early to clean. I can clean in twenty minutes. You need to work
on the rolltainer in the back. You need to put away all that dirt [bags of potting
soil], bro, I mean….”
“Hey, you don’t get a break, bro.
You started at six-thirty. I saw.”
“Hey, you need to tell me if you’re
going to take a break. I’m busy. I need to watch the register.”
“Hey, you don’t have to do that [put
away the dirt]. Just clean and do recovery. On the shelves.”
“I said you don’t need to do that.
Bro. BRO! Man, this guy doesn’t listen.”
“Hey. Hey bro. Can you clean? I want
to get out of here on time, bro.”
“Hey bro. How long is it taking you
to sweep? You want me to sweep? Hey, hey BRO!”
“Hey. Hey BRO! You’re just gonna
leave that broom there? That’s your broom. You need to, like, put it away. No
one wants to clean up after you.”
“HEY! I asked you to lock the door!
Now someone just walked in here! I mean, bro, I want to get out of here
on time, bro.” The columnist heard his name called but, having chosen silence
this shift, didn’t reply. Locking the front doors is something he never does.
He’s not even 100% sure how to lock the doors. He’d ask but….
The columnist refers to the notebook that lists tasks for the night. Once finished with each task, he’s written “finished” next to it. Notice he hasn’t crossed out each task on the list as he finishes. That’s because his coworker doesn’t understand what crossing something out on a list means. He suspects it’s an attempt to obscure the writing and get out of work, giving him no choice but to start yelling. This coworker, if it hasn’t already been made clear, is the authority figure on site.
The manager has written something the columnist hasn’t seen before: that he should be ready by the time his coworker is ready. He takes between five to ten minutes after lights out. Reasonable, he thinks, for someone working right up until then, which would be the typical expectation for the closing shift at a job. Nevertheless he must have received complaints. This could only mean: be ready at the exact same time as the person he’s working with or earlier, despite not knowing when exactly someone will finish. But he takes heed. A minute later and the coworker he’s paired up with tonight will start yelling.
The columnist stands reading about
gold mining in South Africa in The New Yorker, ready to leave.
“Hey. Are you gonna put away the
broom? That’s your broom, bro. You left it there.”
“Hey. That broom is still there. Can
you put away that broom? You left that broom there, right? That’s your broom,
bro!”
“Hey! Your broom! Put away your
broom! Are you listening? Hey! Man.”
“Man! I mean, bro! Your broom! It’s
in the back! That’s your broom, bro! I don’t know what’s up with this
guy. You crazy, man.”
“Put away your BROOM! That’s your
BROOM! You left it there, right? Man, I’m calling [manager]. We’re not leaving
til you put away that broom. I really don’t like working with you, for real,
for real. Voicemail.”
“He’s here right now. He’s just
standing there. Hey! Put away your broom! He won’t put away his broom.”
After he returns to the back, the
columnist picks up the notebook and writes in the margin beside the list of
tasks: [Coworker] yells a lot.
“If you wanna go home, go home, bro. It’s like you
don’t want to be here, bro. I don’t get you.”
“You should leave. Just unlock the
door and leave. This guy. Won’t put away his broom. I don’t know why they put
us together.”
“Man, let’s get out of here. Unlock
this door. You ready? What’s going on? Unlock this door. You can go home early.
I hope I never work with you again.”
